i shifted to a new blog http://www.xanga.com/nauyil

figured that blogger has too many personalised function. i rather my blog be simple.

however i may switch back again. lol.

yo yo yo.. long time since i blog.AGAIN.

anyway went fr ntu odac camp last week.. FOOT 2007. I wont say tt its terrific bec i did many of e stuff but hey! i love e ppl there esp e snrs. GRACE & SHUNZHANG rox. grace reminds me of guihao but she's less loud & more cute than her.. heehee GH is so gona kill me.. anyway Shunzhang is 1 gd lookin gd guy. O well Im praising him again LOL! i was commenting to Sokhua & hui Zhi (my tent mates) tt SZ is rather gd looking IN THE TENT, & yea plenty of ppl heard me. those ppl damn sensative manx LOL!!!

anyway I love e trekking. I hate forested humid areas.. Surprisingly tis trek is nt humid but its WET bec it rained & rained. The thin I lik abt e route is tt its so THRILLING! w e slippery rocks & fast-moving stream. Made me so excited LOL! BEST THING ABT THE TRIP? I feel so xin fu! The ppl (guys surprisingly) reali know hw to take care of ppl. Nv fail to turn back & c if im ok. So many lend me a hand. HAHAHA. i only got ONE orh-ceh.

it feels so weird tt e boys ard me r all men. as in they r older. & they went thru all their army trainings lo. it feels weird when they act lik my ex classmates clement raymond & yet they r so grown up nw.. in a way they look aft e xiao mei mei. as in the gals lo.

o well.. i love e relaxing pace of e camp. tho its pretty slack but my fav SAs really know how to entertain us :) esp yihui & jieyang. such silly tuo. alwax entertain us w brain-churning games. nt witty but lame games.

fuzzy wazzy.black magic.finger 12345.this is a rope.

bleahx.

HAHAHA.

anyway i got into sportscamp in e end.. i made some choice & im nt goin fr it.. afraid to waste an opportunity. but nvm la. i shall jus relax n slack at home. prepare fr my move to hall.

honestly i dun wana stay in hall. at night e place looks extremely scary.


i will miss home :(

sp photo

my SP (ZhenHan, Grace's SP, Grace & myself) (PS:Zhenhan & Grace r an item. So paiseh!)

okie i shd start posting.
first thin first.. noticed dear jean n raymond got their partners n they r stil single on frenster :) haha ok fine mine's complicated. o well its so cute to find out who their partners are.

raymond... impressive.

anyway gona start my motor running fr uni liaoxx.. i tink my brain is rather rusty aft so many mths of doin brainles jobs. 1) checkin blue tooth headphones 2) testing microchips 3) scanning

gosh i felt tt i wasted my holidays. o well im fine w it la. at least i went bangkok.met up w frens.watched movies.had my tears n joy.

lol.

Yinwei is goin to b my room mate! so excited! n she's goin to join triathlon as an interest! wow she's so gona make me swim run n bike. hopefully we can do up a schedule n exercise + study together.

i dun lik e idea of participanting in hall activities to stay in e hall.. its time consuming..

if i get to stay in hall 6..
i can run in e morning..
school aft that..
cycle in e aftnoon..
swim in e evening..
mug at night.

wow. PS: Hall 6 is near to sport facilities. its e SPORTS HALL.

haha.

but im afraid of starting school again.

im feeling better this days but i still have my downs when one person is not sensable enough.. hahaxx.. i got a bike! :) hehe. i bought a birkenstock!

but my comp spoil :( using my dad's comp now.

my birthday was rather fantastic.he bought me dinner :) FIRST TIME. feel so touched.let me boost.. dinner at SECRET RECIPE! :) wow :) :) :)

but..my birthday seem to be missing something..it jus pass too quickly..tho many rmbr..many gave me their wishes..but e feelin jus feels different..mayb bec i din receive a birthday song sang by many? i din blow out any birthday cake candles? i nv make a birthday wish? tho i honestly dun feel v sociable now.. but i gues smtimes havin frens ard makes me feel more alive.. lol..

anyway fr surf n ride, i & kit got 2nd.wow.ripcurl products as prizes.not bad.expensive i realised.wow.

tjc oac duathlon tml.damn stressed.i dislike running.esp when i nv train fr lik weeks.so paiseh la.n my partner is kit..sigh more stressed.i cant perform well in doin smthin tt i do nt feel good abt n w sm1 hu wil stress me out. jia lat. but i hope to perform reasonable well ba. dun wana b black face tml :) not bec i lost but rather fr other reasons. hehe.

i wish life can b more meaningful. i wish life can be less stressful. i wish someone can understand me and talk to me.

i wil cont my search fr happiness :)

things are getting better I guess.

but i guess im still a v unhappy gurl. its like i nd ppl to cheer me up but of cos usually ppl stay away because they tink tt i will blow up or smthin. but no.. im more upset than angry.

anyway smtimes my frens v nice.. they tried to help me but in e end it backfires n i got scolded instead.

yest sm of us went night cycling. honestly i find biking quite fun.. i lik e breeze & e speed down slope.. but obviously e ppl know tt i wasnt happy. sigh.. it was jus mins aft we left sch when i got scolded.. for stupid reasons.. i got fed up & feel v insulted. he kept askin me to catch up. which i of cos i can. i jus feel v..alone. din feel lik tokin anymore.but nt as if e rest hav anythin to tok to me.sigh i jus feel lousy.

but i enjoyed the long ride. esp the mandai zoo stretch of road.

if only the ride was longer. and if only it didnt rain. den my tj shorts wont b wet & yes cause me abrasions.


hope today will be a better day :)

new yr le.. so fast..

i feel weak.

ahhhh


so far away :S

i miss dear :S



boo hoo hoo.

today is a happy day


:)


but the uncertainties are still there.

today was eating at katong laksa, this china waiter (young man) brought weikheam's lime juice and tell us "yi kuai er ba le " so we heard $1.28 for the drink. I went huh? and the guy repeated his sentence slowly "yi kuai er, ba le" (only $1.20), then i went oh. and he smiled oddly at me :S

i was eatin my laksa (head down) when he came back to return the change for the drink. and he made an irritating noise to attract my attention.. then he grinned at me -.- oh gosh in front of waikit and wei kheam somemore. how disgusting.

gosh i wana b happy but nt such scary incidence ya?


sigh find life so unfair for me.

sorry for bein so negative for so many posts.. i guess this one will remain the same..

haha.. maths paper was horrible! paper1 is like.. not e usual A level standards :S n paper 2.. i tink its difficult to pull e 1st paper's marks..but well its over..i'll move on..

many ppl r goin to finish their papers tis comin week.. but bio students haf 1 more week to go.. :S goshh.. somehow im nt lookin forward to e 6 mths long break..becos im afraid i'll waste my time.. :S

recently there are still ups n downs.. of cos my uncertainties are still there.. becos i nv get any answers.. sometimes it seems lik i've got my answer..

"i don't think this is the last la"


but e next moment.. a cold shoulder n mean words..


Are competitions always about winning? its quite demoralising for me when someone keep saying that im not as strong as...sighh is it so important to win..why am i always second and never your first choice..


i feel lik a puppet..my feelings were never considered..

i wish tt i can become myself again..i have lost my confidence..my self esteem..my positive outlook..i wan to b stronger mentally..actuali i tink i am stronger mentally..jus tt thins tt happened nw..its too much fr anyone w a sane mind to tolerate..but i wan to tolerate..




yuan jiayou jiayou!

yo yo finish GP paper le..

hmm.. i tink my life is too too dramatic.. i duno when i wil get upset or when i wil b happy.. its so unpredictable.. but right now i know tt.. im not happy.

i guess i know im wasting my life away for being unhappy but i guess it is part of my life tt i MUST go thru so tt i wil turn out stronger mentally.. honestly i feel damn weak now.

seriously i feel v pent up.. n no matter how many frens console me.. i will feel e same as e uncertainty is always there.. its not gone yet.

its so easy for me to cry nowadays.. jus tink abt a simple scenario which may nv happen n there.. i cry.n obviously all this scenarios are negative negative negative.. i wan to b positive but i cant.. sigh e problem is wad is there tt i can imagine tt i can b happy abt?

ahhhh sorry to all readers.



im pursuing wad i tink i will be happy. tho im v v silly nw, i gues tis is part of my life. hahaha at least i have a story to tel. i wan to b happy. happy happy happy.

lift tt damn rock off my chest, its killing me. argh!!!!! :S

hi..nowadays i'm obviously nt v happy..

jus a small matter n i risk losing one tt i love most.

sighhh study study study. tis situation tt i am in made EVERYTHING worse. if there's no A levels, I prob wont b so unhappy n many thins will nt happen bcos of A levels! MANY THINGS WILL NOT HAPPEN BECAUSE OF A LEVELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:'

sigh. anyway yesterday my mom gave me great encouragement yest. i gues many of u may haf moms hu is hardly at home ba.. my mom used to b a full time housewife hence i always have her when i come home. however, she got a job recently n yes she loves her job.. hair cutting service fr kids.so i became lonely n ill discipline at home..n worst..i get depressed easily becos i got no one to tok to or i do not nd to hide my feelins becos no one wil c nor hear.

yest aft a rather miserable phone call.. i felt really lost. i duno whether wad i am tryin to do nw is right.. i cried in front of my mom.. tellin her tt i am nt happy n tt i dun wan to study.mom comforted me say tt she n dad r satisfied if i am able to take A levels happily n return home happily. she say all tt matters to them is tt i am happy.

:'

was so touched.she told me tt even if i fail, it doesnt really matter.she tel me tt happiness is e source of bein healthy. (mom said i prob inherited her emotions.. :( becs she had her really low days too but after she started working, she realised that she can be useful in the society and so her spirits are more lifted) so she asked me to jus do wad makes me happy.she said she n dad stressed me last time becos they scared tt i wil stray away frm studies n turn out rotten..

mommy daddy....

so yup i feel tt i shdnt b upset fr too long.. at least i have 2 out of 3 ppl hu i love, give me their love and support..i guess fr my mom n my dad.. i shant hurt myself by gettin more depressed each day..

i really hope tt thins will be better aft As.. tho i am afraid of e aftermath(nt A levels).. i really hope i can b happier aft As.. i hope e rest of u give me ur blessings :)

jiayou jiayou jiayou!

long time nv blog liao... still addicted to gong :) it jus feels great to dream.. prince & princess happily ever after.. hahaha! o well i find e male lead character attractive (initially i tot he look quite awful!) because of his 189cm height & model build.. LOL! oh yes n those pretty eyes plus e white smile.. hahahaha dun b mistaken i dun love him! lol

anyway time is running out fr me.. 3 weeks... sighhh im not doin enough! need to pull my grade up from "O" to "A" in 3 weeks time.. gosh! sighxxxx plus pull my D7 to B4 i hope! :D

Cute right? :)

goong!!!!! hahaha

tho i guess not many read my blog but guess i will type an entry of my recent tots.

I MISS MOON.

tho i may not be her best friend but i miss her alot.i gave her a title of being my true friend because i feel that she is sincere and she shows exactly how she feels.moon gave me confidence when i was stressed during my secondary school days.she made me feel positive of everything that is negative.tho she may not be able to help me when im sad she promises to lend me a shoulder.and even better she cried with me.

i miss moon.today she played badminton w e np girls..honestly i yearned to go over there and perhaps laugh at how amusing the game was played by e girls.i know she prob will nv read my blog but i jus feel lik letting e ppl hu actually bothered to read, to know how i feel.

heard that she will be going to kbox w her frens.that reminded me of e time where e np gals went.it was a crazy and happy evening for me.jumping on the chair singing aloud.when can i ever enjoy that again?

i know i changed from someone confident and cheerful to someone anti social and always moody.. i know my friends are rather angry that i made a decision that may ruin e person i was forever.im so sorry.i will seek out what truly makes me happy de.

i love mom n dad.mom understands me alot.dad pampers me alot tho he is v strict w me.they love me w all their heart n i cant bear to ever let them down.i know no matter what happen they will stood by me and be with me.unlike all others.im so afraid tt i will lose them.i keep lots of secrets from them because i know they wont be happy if they know it.but of cos i know one day i will reveal tt's when im prepared.

i miss my sec school life.compared to now.life was much simpler then.i got moon 1 class away.i got my jie.i got my good friends andrew kaizhao valerie.every day will be filled with happy moments and prob bits of unhappy moments.unlike the present, when im sad, its for e entire day or days.so far i was unhappy for 5 days straight once and its too torturous to feel that way.

jc life is terrible.charles said he missed it terribly.gues i wil miss some of it ba.i enjoy e days when i had fun w oac buds and e days where e econs droppers break together.

prelims jus ended and i need to start mugging soon. i know im not prepared.but i need a carve out a steady career.for my parents.for my future.its really difficult now but i need to.it is a one way route.either i do well and get into e profession that i wan or have a harder time trying to find a proper income next time.

its reality in singapore.if u r lucky n dare to dream,u wil get far w/o much education.but fr ppl lik me, i wil do e usual route unles i meet a good opportunity next time tt allows me to wander off e path i set now.

i hope all thins go well fr me soon.

i need a good laugh.

oh ya sorry fr e ".", small caps, errors in language and long paragraphs.

school library is extremely great during school holidays. only year 2s & it is really really quiet.

fantastic.

yesterday i met up w charles to ask fr tips fr a levels.
oh well i felt extreme stress aft tt.
good to see him, he is a size smaller LOL & yes he blends well w e Star Bucks at Raffles City.

yinwei, yanling & kheam shd meet him. lol they'll be darn happy. hehehe.

i got MANY MANY MANY prelim papers frm derek & charles. gosh wad a stack.

too bad i cant hand dem on to any of e juniors :/ ahhhh $$$$$$

anyway San Shun tv show is really funny. gona watch it aft a levels.. :/ can i tolerate until then..

study hard every one.

*box myself. gosh what am i doin online?!

ciaoxxxxxxx

was studying in e sch for e past 2 days.

argh. irritating students.
keep talking and talking in the library.
i ASKED them to keep their vol down.
and yea as i expected, they rant on.
oh gosh are you kids?!
this is a library.
okay.students watching movie on their laptop and laughing ALOUD.
gosh.
ARGH.
dont ask me why dont i study at home.
cos the obvious reason is i expect e library to be more CONDUCIVE!
it is stil more conducive than my home.

students wearin make up to sch?ok if u look good,i'll b impressed.if nt,oh gosh.
students not wearing any socks to school? erm. right.

tink my prefect and councillor attitude is surfacing.

hahaha btw smthin good tt i have encountered almost everyday last week is tt...
the 6.40am uncle who drives bus 17 will always SMILE and say GOOD MORNING to everyone! o gosh impressive! tho im nt his passenger, he made my day :)

ahhhhhh need to study again.chao.

ok im damn stressed. actually not exactly.. how to explain the feeling im having now.. its like.. im stressed becos i duno wad to study now n the thin is i have LOTS to mug but yet im not treasuring my time.

blog.kinda bore me nowadays.but well its a place where i can yell out my tots and prob let those ppl hu read my blog to churn their brain juice about what im complaining abt.

i wana complain! why some ppl are so so so superficial? its like they pretend to be the best fren of others, clinging onto their arms, laughing ALOUD... i mean its jus.. ok.. NOT PLEASANT to me. mayb they arent superficial, jus tt dey are LIKE THAT. den ok. tt's irritating me. i gues its kinda bad when some ppl try too hard to fit into the gps of ppl around them. and they end up looking out-of-place. really. smhw tis kind of ppl pisses me off. unintentionally of cos. but jus cant stand e look of it. prefer to c genuine smiles and laughter. i shd stop bein biased. lol but tt's me. haha.

oac. hope e 06/07 instructors r doin fine. hope they are doing everything by their own thinkin and creativity. if nt they are still our trainees. nahhhh not gona touch on oac stuff again.

nus tri. ok kit, yq n i got third. surprised. n HEY i swam faster than e rest n end up slower becos i cant move my dumb legs to run faster. hahaha. felt like puking den. drank TOO MUCH water. was constantly COUGHING thru out e swim la. stupid waves. n east coast water is so salty. it made my throat so pain! irritating! o ya e third prize is lik.. erm.. deep heat n freebies frm yahoo.com! o gosh. it cost less than $30 bucks i gues n we paid $120 in total! gosh. wth. hahaha yongqi n kit were cursing abt tt.

well well. i guess tt will be the last comp where i can join as a 18 yr old. if i join anymore comps in future..it'll be like.. open???? yiks.nah.no more east coast.e water sux.

ahhhh nd to get back to my notesss...

sorry fr e complains.

yawnx.

ta da.

when the going gets tougher, i will just need to be tougher

gona find the old liyuan back

:D

seriously need to catch up with studies...

its time for me to fantasize again :)

lalalala

happiness seeker

I can't stand it! I like JACK SPARROW (sorry cldnt use e word LOVE haha)! hahaha its silly but I prefer him with a beauty rather than the handsome always go with the beauty.. o right.. JACK SPARROW is charming n handsome too.. Better than Will Turner! HAhahA. personal opinion tt is.

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19feb.


yan ling
du yinwei
kimberley
szesian
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jieying
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